(based on what other dumb criminals have done)

• If you plan to commit a crime and run from the police on foot... *Do* pick a more subtle color to wear than bright yellow pants.

• *Don't* invite a uniformed police officer into your home to chat about a crime you witnessed if you have dope on the table in plain view.

• When you go on a burglary spree *Do* ensure you have enough gas in your vehicle to drive away from your crime scene.

• "But I know the people who live here" is *Not* a valid justification for burglarizing a neighbors house when they are out of town.

• When an officer is demonstrating a field sobriety test *Don't* say, "Well, I can't do that sober!" on camera, and then plead not guilty.

• If you are going to steal a car *Do* pick one that will blend in traffic better than a pearl white six door limo.

• *Don't* answer a question with the phrase, "Who me?" when you and the officer are the only people in a ten mile radius.

• *Don't* repeat the question that the officer just asked. It's considered a stall technique and it gives away the fact you are getting ready to lie through your teeth.

• *Don't* say, "I ain't got no dope. Why you wanna search my car?" before the officer even introduces himself/herself on the traffic stop.

• *Do* pick an alias you can spell before you lie to the police about your name.

• *Do* ensure the birthday you give matches the age you give when lying about your birthday.

• When you attempt to drop your dope on the ground when approached by an officer, *Don't* bounce said dope off the toe of the officer's boot.

• *Do* come up with something better to say than, "These aren't my pants" when the officer finds dope or any other contraband in your pocket.

• If you are going to jump into a stranger's fenced back yard *Do* make sure a police K-9 vehicle is not parked in the driveway.

• *Don't* ask an off duty plain clothes officer in his privately owned vehicle for a ride away from your crime scene.

• If you leave your pants, car, and ID at a crime scene, the cops *Will* probably be able to figure out who dunnit