• Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"

• Your best friend is someone you've never met.

• You see a beautiful sunset, and you half expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on one of the clouds.

• You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

• You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

• You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on puddle, sending your car careening toward the flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You look for the "Back" button.

• You visit "The Really Big Button that Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.

• Your dog has his own Web page

• So does your hamster.

• When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.