The "I Love You" virus that infects users of Microsoft's outlook has morphed. Watch for these variations:

• The "I love you, too" virus:
  • Responds with an appropriate letter stating that the user loves you as well. Spreads peace and harmony throughout the corporate workplace, causing lost productivity and chaos on Wall Street as no one tries to screw anyone else out of a deal.

• The "I'm looking for more of a commitment" virus
  • Receives the "I love you" virus email and immediately schedules a recurring event called "hold for my sweetie" for Friday and Saturdays into your calendar and the calendar of the person who sent the mail, registers you for a year of pre-paid videos at Blockbuster.com, and deletes any appointments called "Golf with the guys" or "Night out with the Girls." It also erases the phone number from the contact card for your 'ex', and puts in a monthly reminder for the anniversary of your first date.

• The "Let's just be friends" virus
  • Immediately deletes the "I love you" virus, sends a "Let's Just be friends" response, and books you for a discount weekend at Hedonism at an online travel site.

• The "Unsafe Sex" virus
  • Spreads unprotected files to every other hard disk on the net.

• The "Safe Sex" virus
  • Wraps the "I Love You letter" in a container that keeps it from spreading 99.45% of the time.

• The "Sexual Harassment Lawsuit" virus
  • Forwards a copy of the "I Love You" virus to Human Resources and to your lawyer with threatening legal language attached. Automatically accepts settlement offer e-mails over $100k.

  More variations are being discovered every day, so make sure you update your virus protection.