• Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
• I would not allow this student to breed.
• This student has delusions of adequacy.
• This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• This student sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
• Student has been working with glue too much.
• When the student's IQ reaches 50, he/she should sell.
• Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
• It's hard to believe the sperm that created this student beat out 1,000,000 others.
• The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
• Your child is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
• If your child had two brain cells, they'd kill each other.