• TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
  SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
  TEACHER: What are you talking about?
  SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

• TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
  GEORGE: Here it is!
  TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
  CLASS: George!

• TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
  WILLY: Me!

• TEACHER: Why are you late?
  WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
  TEACHER: What sign?
  WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

• SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
  FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
  SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

• TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
  SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

• TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
  ELLEN: I is...
  TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
  ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

• TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
  CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands