This is a list of the ways that professors at Arizona State University grade their final exams:

• Department of Statistics
• All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
• Department of Psychology
• Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
• Department of History
• All students get the same grade they got last year.
• Department of Religion
• Grade is determined by God.
• Department of Philosophy
• What is a grade?
• English Department
• Your final exam will be scored by totaling the weight of all the books you read this semester:
  40+ pounds - A
  30 pounds - B
  20 pounds - C
  10 pounds - D
  <10 pounds - F
• Law School
• Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
• Department of Mathematics
• Grades are variable.
• Department of Physics
• Grades are relative. but...
  All theoretical physics is really mathematics. See Above.
• Department of Chemistry
• All theoretical chemistry is really physics. See Above.
• Department of Biology
• All theoretical biology is really chemistry. See Above.
• Department of Logic
• If and only if
  the student is present for the final
  and
  the student has accumulated a passing grade
  then
  the student will receive an A
  else
  the student will not receive an A.
• Department of Marxist Studies:
• The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Therefore, everyone will now get the same grade!
• Department of Economics:
• All of your grades, as a collection, will reach the level where your marginal product (MP) of labor for each individual grade is equal.
• Department of Operations & Logistics Management
• Grades will be posted *at* 12:00 Noon. NOT 11:59 -- NOT 12:01
• Department of Computer Science
• Random number generator determines grade, but... YOUR grade is an object in a class of its own.
• Music Department
• Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).