This is a list of the ways that professors at Arizona State University grade their final exams:
- Department of Statistics
- All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
- Department of Psychology
- Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
- Department of History
- All students get the same grade they got last year.
- Department of Religion
- Grade is determined by God.
- Department of Philosophy
- What is a grade?
- English Department
- Your final exam will be scored by totaling the weight of all the books you read this semester:
40+ pounds - A
30 pounds - B
20 pounds - C
10 pounds - D
<10 pounds - F- Law School
- Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
- Department of Mathematics
- Grades are variable.
- Department of Physics
- Grades are relative. but...
All theoretical physics is really mathematics. See Above.- Department of Chemistry
- All theoretical chemistry is really physics. See Above.
- Department of Biology
- All theoretical biology is really chemistry. See Above.
- Department of Logic
- If and only if
the student is present for the final
and
the student has accumulated a passing grade
then
the student will receive an A
else
the student will not receive an A.- Department of Marxist Studies:
- The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Therefore, everyone will now get the same grade!
- Department of Economics:
- All of your grades, as a collection, will reach the level where your marginal product (MP) of labor for each individual grade is equal.
- Department of Operations & Logistics Management
- Grades will be posted *at* 12:00 Noon. NOT 11:59 -- NOT 12:01
- Department of Computer Science
- Random number generator determines grade, but... YOUR grade is an object in a class of its own.
- Music Department
- Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).