The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Alburquerque Public School System by parents of students:

• Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
• Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

• Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.

• Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.

• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

• Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

• Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.

• My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.

• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.

• My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.

• Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

• Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

• Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.

• Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.

• George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

• Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

• Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

• Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

• Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.