How to tell if your cat has a problem by asking yourself the following questions:

• Does your cat sleep 22 hours a day, and spend the other two hours in non-stop eating?
• Does your cat take frequent naps in annoying places, such as in the center ofthe dinner table, in the kitchen sink, or on top of your freshly-cleaned-of-hair (and favorite) bedspread?
• Is your cat selfish? Conceited? Arrogant? Aloof? Insensitive?
• Does he wake you up in the middle of the night and refuse to stop meowing until you accompany him to his food bowl to watch him eat?
• Does your cat tear down holiday decorations?
• Does he destroy any stuffed toy or cat-sized household ornament that might be misconstrued as his competition?
• Does your cat perceive himself to be sole owner of all property?
• Does he often show disdain for your taste, or act as if you are an embarrassment to him?

  If you answered "yes" to most of these questions...

  Relax, your cat is normal.