• Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.

• The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.

• The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.

• The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."

• The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.

• Shadow Traffic warns other drivers what highway you're taking.

• The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries not included."

• You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.

• You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.

• When you pass hitchhikers, they put their thumb down.