• she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
• she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
• she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
• she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
• she thought a quarterback was a refund
• if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
• they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
• under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
• she tripped over a cordless phone
• at the bottom of the application where it says "Sign here" she put "Sagittarius"
• it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
• if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
• she studied for a blood test-and failed
• she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
• she sold the car for gas money
• when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
• when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
• she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company
• when she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home.