1. Describe your problem:

 2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

 4. Problem Severity:

A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__

 5. Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Strange Smell__

 6. Is your computer plugged in?
      Yes__ No__

 7. Is it turned on?
      Yes__ No__

 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
      Yes__ No__

 9. Have you made it worse?
      Yes__

10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you?
      Yes__ No__

11. Did they make it even worse?
      Yes__

12. Have you read the manual?
      Yes__ No__

13. Are you sure you've read the manual?
      Maybe__ No__

14. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
      No__

15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it?
      Yes__ No__

16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself.

17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

l8. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in?


l9. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
      Yes__ No__

20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00?
      Yes__ What's a VCR?__

21. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'?
      Yes__ No__

22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?
      Yes__ No__

23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work?
      Yes__ No__

24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on?
      Yes__ No__

25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top?
      Yes__ No__

26. Is the machine on fire?
      Yes__ Not Yet__

27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me?
      Yes__