Spice Girls Application
- Name:
Age:
Real Age:
- How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter
( ) A team player
( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
- Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?
- Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
- "I am willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry."
- How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
- Does nudity bother you? If so, give three excuses for your portfolio.
- Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free
will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and
modern behavioralist psychology. Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like
leather mini-skirts?
- Are you deceptively attractive in colored or stroboscopic light?
- Choose an appropriate nickname:
Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Syphilis, Lardy, Sickly, Sporty, Slappy, Posher
- Choose an appropriate image:
( ) Cute, blonde, appeals to pedophiles
( ) Tub of lard
( ) Bloke. In a tracksuit.
( ) Vacant stare, no discernible brain activity
( ) Terrifying to small children and old men
( ) All of the above
- Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?
- If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75
kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in a bikini?
- If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
- In space provided, tell us what you want, what you really, really want