• Name:_______________________________________________
• Nickname:________________
  C.B. Handle_________________
• Mobile Home Color:
  ____ Two-tone, Brown and White
  ____ Two-tone, Pink and White
  ____ Faded Green
• Daddy: (if unknown, attach list of three suspects):

  _______________ ______________ _____________

• Mama: _____________
• Neck Shade
  ____ Light Red
  ____ Medium Red
  ____ Dark Red
• Number of teeth in exposed full grin
  ____ Upper
  ____ Lower
• Model of pickup truck:__________
  Size of tires: _____________
• ____ Number of beer cans on floor of pickup truck
• Truck equipped with:
  ____ Gun Rack
  ____ Mud Flaps
  ____ Camper Top
  ____ Air Horn
  ____ American Flag
  ____ 4-W Drive
  ____ 8-Track
  ____ Rust
  ____ Fuzz Buster
  ____ Roll Bar
  ____ C.B.
  ____ Dents
  ____ Load of wood
  ____ Mud Tires
  ____ Deer poaching spot light
  ____ Playboy emblem hanging from rearview mirror
  ____ Woman's garter hanging from rearview mirror
  ____ Pine tree air freshener hanging from rearview mirror
• Bumper Stickers
  ____ Honk if You're Horny
  ____ *uck 'em Bucky
  ____ Almost Heaven, Hayward
  ____ Where the Hell is Rhinelander?
  ____ Feminazis for Kohl
  ____ Wisconsin State Bird: Mosquito
  ____ Ducks Unlimited
  ____ Walleyes Unlimited
  ____ Tommy Bartlett Water Show
  ____ Nuke Illinois
  ____ Eat Cheese or Die
  ____ Cheddarheads for Bush
  ____ You'll Get My Gun When You Pry My Cold Dead Fingers From Around The Barrel
  ____ The Pack is Back (on bumper since 1973)
• Favorite Meal:
  ____ Anything fried in lard
  ____ Pickled pigs feet
  ____ Bratwurst and Old Milwaukee
  ____ Venison sausage and Old Milwaukee
  ____ Cheesecurds and Old Milwaukee
  ____ Green bean and mushroom soup casserole
  ____ Slim Jims and lime Jell-o
• Favorite Music:
  ____ Country
  ____ Western
  ____ Country Western
  ____ Anything played by an accordian
• Favorite Recreation:
  ____ Deer Huntin
  ____ Snowmobilin
  ____ Fishin with live bait
  ____ Watching Green Acres reruns
  ____ Deer huntin while drinking
  ____ Snowmobilin while drinking
  ____ Fishin with live bait while drinking
  ____ Watchin Green Acres while drinking
• Favorite Weapon:
  ____ .22
  ____ 30/30
  ____ 30/06
  ____ Ice auger
  ____ Chain saw
  ____ Tire iron
  ____ Forehead
  ____ Wife
• Favorite Fragrance:
  ____ Wet dogs
  ____ WD-40
  ____ Old Milwaukee
  ____ Minnow bucket
  ____ Frying Spam
  ____ Diesel fuel
  ____ A paper mill on a hot day in August
  ____ Fish guts after a week in the trash (in the garage) in August
  ____ Any scent eminating from a bodily orifice
• Favorite Cap Emblem:
  ____ Old Milwaukee
  ____ Stihl
  ____ Blatz
  ____ Skoal
  ____ Packers
  ____ Pabst
  ____ John Deere
  ____ Hamms
  ____ Brewers
  ____ Point Beer
  ____ Old Fart
  ____ Old Style
• Favorite Reading:
  ____ Fishing Facts
  ____ TV Guide
  ____ Beer Bottle Labels
  ____ Enquirer
  ____ Guns & Ammo
  ____ Today's Mercenary
  ____ Polka Digest
  ____ Aryan Review
  ____ Welfare Application
  ____ Sports Illustrated (swimsuit edition only)
• ____ Length of Right Leg:
  ____ Length of Left Leg
• Things in Your Front Yard:
  ____ Various kitchen appliances
  ____ Piles of split wood
  ____ Cars on blocks
  ____ Dismantled snowmobiles
  ____ Dog run with all the grass worn away down to rock hard dirt
  ____ Broken, metal frame, screen gazebo
  ____ Deer hanging from tree limb--in season
  ____ Deer Hanging from tree limb--out of season
  ____ Wood cut-out of bent over woman
• When was your last sighting of Elvis?:
  _________________
• Do you wear mostly polyester pant with snags?:
  ____ yes
  ____ no
• Do you own any shoes? (not counting boots):
  ____ yes
  ____ no
• Are you married to any of the following:
  ____ Sister
  ____ Cousin
  ____ Cousin's sister
• Can you beat your wife at arm wrestling?
  ____ yes
  ____ no
• Typical Greeting:
  ____ Good Morning, dere
  ____ Dem Packers is playing like a buncha old women
  ____ Dem Brewers is playing like a buncha old women
  ____ Dem Badgers is playing like a buncha old women
  ____ Dem Bucks is playing like a buncha old women
  ____ Dey should take da whole buncha dem Madison liberals and queers and line em up and shoot em.
  ____ Dey should just let dem Indians spear dose idiots at the DNR
  ____ Ya, hey
• Favorite Tavern Name:
  ____ County Trunk Bar
  ____ Dew Drop Inn
  ____ Deer Drop Inn
  ____ Deer Droppings Inn
  ____ LakeSide Supper Club
  ____ LakeView Supper Club
  ____ LakeWood Supper Club
  ____ PineSide Supper Club
  ____ PineView Supper Club
  ____ PineWood Supper Club
• Favorite Automobile:
  ____ '67 Ford Galaxy
  ____ '67 Ford Galaxy with transmission
  ____ '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala transmission
  ____ '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala transmission and '71 Buick LeSabre engine
• Farthest Point South Ever Traveled:
  ____ County Trunk GG
  ____ County Trunk CC
  ____ County Trunk Bar
  ____ Winter
  ____ Polar
  ____ Klondike
  ____ Maple
  ____ Poplar
  ____ Birchwood
  ____ Manitowish
  ____ Namekagon
  ____ Ojibwa
  ____ Peru
  ____ Scandinavia
  ____ Athens
  ____ Irma
  ____ Helma
  ____ Loretta
  ____ Beaver
  ____ An ice shanty on the Flambeau Flowage
• Most Memorable Event You've Ever Attended
  ____ Minocqua Moose Call Competition
  ____ Phelps Mister Potato Carnival
  ____ Gleason Grouse Mating Gala
  ____ Herbster Jaycees Seagull Doo-Doo Days
  ____ Lake Tomahawk Crew Cut Championships
  ____ Omega Outboard Motor Repair Finals
  ____ Spread Eagle International Proctologists Convention
  ____ Chetek Carp Queen Beauty Contest and Carp Cuisine Cook-Off
  ____ Eagle River Shout-Off for the Deaf (held week after the snowmobile races)

Your Signature (an X will do): ________________________________