Application for Permission to Live
in Massachusetts


    Name: _____________________________________________________________________
    (extra space left due to new social awareness)

  1. Ethnic Information: (voluntary)
    • ____ Eskimo
    • ____ American Indian
    • ____ Hispanic
    • ____ Asian
    • ____ African-American
    • ____ American-African
    • ____ Black-American
    • ____ Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males
      (specify, so we can help you form a political action group)
      ___________________________________________________

  2. Type of Cars Owned (pick two):
    • ____ SAAB
    • ____ Volvo
    • ____ BMW
    • ____ Mercedes
    • ____ Honda

  3. You don't own any *American* cars, do you?
    • ____ NO

  4. Car Equipment:
    • ____ Blaupunkt
    • ____ Passport
    • ____ Escort
    • ____ Vuarnet Sunglasses
    • ____ Stash
    • ____ CD
    • ____ Cellular Phone
    • ____ Ski Rack
    • ____ Bicycle Rack
    • ____ Wine Rack

  5. Bumper Stickers:
    • ____ "You can't hug a child with nuclear arms"
    • ____ "Greenpeace"
    • ____ "Dukakis/Bentsen"
    • ____ "Save the Whales"
    • ____ "Farms not Arms"

  6. Sexual Orientation:
    • ____ Gay
    • ____ Lesbian
    • ____ Other

    (note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you can't live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)

  7. Favorite Cause:
    • ____ Whales
    • ____ Baby Seals
    • ____ Snail Darter
    • Total given to these causes in the last 12 months: ________________

  8. Favorite Drugs:
    • ____ Crack
    • ____ Coke
    • ____ Grass
    • ____ Kitty's Diet Plan

  9. Which of the Following Should be Banned? (check all that apply)
    • ____ The Bomb
    • ____ Handguns
    • ____ All guns
    • ____ Nuclear Power
    • ____ Cigarettes
    • ____ The NRA
    • ____ Republicans

  10. Which of the Following Should be Legalized?: (check all that apply)
    • ____ Crack
    • ____ Coke
    • ____ Grass
    • ____ Needles
    • ____ Flag Burning

  11. Favorite Beer:
    • ____ Samuel Adams
    • ____ Beck's
    • ____ Corona (w/lime)
    • ____ Latest trendy brand

  12. Favorite Politician:
    • ____ Ted Kennedy
    • ____ John Kennedy
    • ____ Bobby Kennedy
    • ____ Joe Kennedy

  13. Club Memberships:
    • ____ ACLU
    • ____ Greenpeace
    • ____ SDS
    • ____ N.O.W.
    • ____ A.F.S.C.M.E.
    • ____ Billy Bulger Breakfast Club
    • ____ Provincetown Boys Club
    • ____ Bull-Dykes Kennel Club

  14. Even though we can't ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, don't you think that Seabrook should remain closed forever?
    • ____ YES

  15. Don't you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose their jobs?
    • ____ YES

  16. How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
    • ____ 100W
    • ____ 200W
    • ____ More than that

  17. How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New England summers?:
    • ____ 2
    • ____ 3
    • ____ 4
    • ____ Central Air

    (note: Fewer than two A/C units may qualify you for state subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)

  18. Favorite TV Show:
    • ____ Once and Again
    • ____ Providence


 

 

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