- If You See A Bee, RUN
- Avoid Being Abducted By Aliens At All Costs
- Never Expect An Informant To Stick Around For Long
- Avoid People Dressed In Black
- Glow-In-The-Dark Bugs Are Bad
- Freaky Worm Mutants That Live In Sewers Are Bad
- Protect Your Liver From Mutant Liver-Eating Men
- Protect Your Pituitary Gland From Mutant Pituitary Gland-Eating Men
- Protect Your Fat From Mutant Fat-Eating Men
- Always Check Rocks For Gooey Alien Black Oil
- Make Sure Your Local PTA Is Demon-Free
- Avoid People With Gargoyle Fetishes
- Don't Bring Your Pet When You Go Lake Monster Hunting
- Don't Smoke
- Don't Get A Red Tattoo
- Don't Drill Holes In Your Head
- Red Eyes Are A Bad Sign
- If You Feel Yourself Being 'Drawn' Somewhere, In Short - Don't Go
- The Truth *Is* Out There...Somewhere
- If It's Iced Tea, It Could Be Love, But If It's Root Beer, It's Fate.
- Never Leave Home Without Your Superduper Alien-Bounty-Hunter-Killing Fffftttt Stiletto Needle Thing Weapon Thing
- Cable T.V. Can Be Linked To Strange Behavior - Trust Me, I Know