• Housework and child-rearing can be fun when you have 372 servants.
• No one can blame you for not cooking if you can't even *find* the kitchen.
• A good prince is hard to find.
• If you are going to live with his mother, 400 rooms are not enough.
• Why limit yourself to a place in the country when you can *have* the country.
• Don't let a clown with a crown get you down.
• There is a new 12-step program for rich men who love too much, are married to women who refuse to eat, and have children who are forbidden to wear long pants.
• When the going gets tough, the tough go yachting.
• A prince can turn into a frog.
• The understanding of what constitutes a dysfunctional family has been raised to royal proportions.
• A man isn't the only one whose home is his castle.
• You *can* be too rich or too thin.
• When you go out into the world, remember: you don't need a prince to live happily ever after.