• your spreader bar says "Smith & Wesson" down the side.
• your bondage rope has axle grease stains.
• you named your dog the same name as your submissive, so you could remember both of their names.
• your nipple clamps look suspiciously like the clamps for your jumper cables.
• you can't suspend your sub from the ceiling because she weighs more than the load capacity for your trailer.
• your sub accidently screams out the names of your brothers Bubba, Billy, and Bobby before she remembers yours in a moment of passion.
• you use the hood of the El Camino on blocks in your front yard as a bondage table.
• you require you submissive to wipe the rim of your Budweiser bottle with her sleeve before she kisses it to serve you.
• you fix the squeaking headboard with duct tape.
• you can only give 10 swats at a time because you want to count the strokes and don't want to take your work boots off.
• your submissive makes a dentist appointment and you're afraid it might mean she is looking for a new dom.
• you decide to surprise your submissive with an extra special location for her collaring, so you take her to Graceland.
• you accidently get your submissive with your belt buckle during a whipping, and it leaves a Budweiser logo imprint on her ass.