• The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

• The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.

• The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.

• The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.

• The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.

• The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?

• The M&M penis: melts in your mouth, not in your hand

• The lucky charms penis: They're magically delicious

• The Energizer penis: it keeps going and going

• The right guard penis: anything less is uncivilized

• The Cambells soup penis: mmm mmm good

• The Kix penis: kid tested, mother approved.

• The McDonald's penis: over 8 billion served.

• The Tombstone penis: what would you like on your penis?

• The Ragu penis: comes out chunkier than the rest.

• The Cobain penis: it blows itself away.

• The All State penis: you're in good hands.

• The 7-Up penis: the UN-penis.

• The Barq's penis: the one with bite.

• The beef penis: it's what's for dinner.

• The Bud Lite penis: great taste, less filling.

• The Transformers penis: it's more than meets the eye.

• The Twizzler penis: it makes mouths happy.

• The Sega penis: PENIS!

• The Starburst penis: the juice is loose.

• The Timex penis: takes a lickin and keeps on.......

• The Burger King penis: have it your way

• The Flintstone's vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing

• The Wendy's penis: where's the beef?

• The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one.

• The Matthew Sweet penis: 100% fun.

• The Little Caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!!

• The Mortal Kombat penis: nothing can prepare you.

• The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.

• The Street Fighter II penis: Matt, stop, you're getting too good at this.

• The Domino's Pizza penis: delivers in 30 min. or less

• The Monty Python penis: "isn't awfully nice to have a penis"

• The Monty Python penis II: "every sperm is sacred...."

• The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?

• The Extra penis: lasts an extra extra extra long time

• The Charmin penis: Don't squeeze the penis!

• The Beatles penis: now a quarter smaller than it used to be.

• The Oasis penis: thinks it's the Beatles penis.

• The Windows '95 penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.

• The Virginia Slims penis: you've come a long way, baby.

• The Secret penis: strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.

• The Micro Machines penis: a whole world, in the palm of your hand.

• The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop

• The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!

• The yellow pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.

• The Reese's penis: How do you eat your penis?

• The Beavis penis: Look! it's changing color