Great T-Shirt Slogans

  • So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
  • I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
  • God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
  • If They Don’t Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain’t Going
  • My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
  • (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah!
  • (On the back of a Harley-rider) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
  • I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We’re OK Now
  • What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It’s All About?
  • (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
  • I Didn’t Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
  • Liberal Arts Major…Will Think For Money
  • IRS – Be Audit You Can Be
  • Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
  • Coffee, Chocolate, Men…Some Things Are Just Better Rich
  • Gravity… It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s The Law.
  • If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen
  • In America, Anyone Can Be President. That’s The Risk You Take.
  • First Things First, But Not Necessarily In That Order.
  • I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

More Great T-Shirt Slogans

  • “Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time”
  • “Frankly, Scallop, I Don’t Give a Clam” – seen on Cape Cod
  • “That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!” – seen on an 8 year old
  • “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”
  • “Procrastinate Now”
  • “Rehab Is for Quitters”
  • “My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse – He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse”
  • “My Dog Can Lick Anyone”
  • “Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair”
  • “I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts — Do You Want Fries With That?”
  • “Party — My Crib – Two A.M.” – Made up to look like an invitation on a baby-size shirt
  • “If a woman’s place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR!”
  • “FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.”
  • “I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I’VE GOT A GUN”
  • “Filthy, Stinking, Rich — Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”
  • “A hangover is the wrath of grapes”
  • “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance”
  • “STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!”
  • “Where there’s a will I want to be in it”
  • “How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?”
  • “He who dies with the most toys is still dead”
  • “HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”
  • “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
  • “HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!”
  • “The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”
  • “IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?”
  • “Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.”
  • “MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT”
  • “Computer programmers don’t byte, they nybble a bit.”
  • “Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.”
  • “NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.”
  • “Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.”

T-Shirts For Women Who Take No Crap

  • I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
  • Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
  • Remember my name – you’ll be screaming it later.
  • Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.
  • Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
  • I’m multi-talented: I can talk and tick you off at the same time.
  • Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
  • You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
  • Don’t tick me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
  • Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?
  • I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  • Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
  • I hate everybody, and you’re next.
  • Please don’t make me kill you.
  • And your point is…
  • I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.
  • All stressed out and no one to choke.
  • I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.
  • How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Computer T-Shirt Slogans

  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • COFFEE.EXE missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
  • Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  • Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  • Backups! We don’ NEED no steenking backups.
  • 4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • E Pluribus Modem
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
  • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
  • Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
  • A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
  • My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features.
  • An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
  • C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
  • C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
  • <-------- The information went data way
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
  • A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
  • The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  • 11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor’s Pentium
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding
  • 24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case…Coincidence???
  • The name is Baud, James Baud.
  • Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  • BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  • SENILE.COM found… Out Of Memory…
  • Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah!
  • Who’s General Failure & why is he reading my disk??
  • C:Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
  • Ultimate office automation: Net-worked coffee.
  • Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
  • RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
  • Why doesn’t DOS ever say ‘EXCELLENT’
  • Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?
  • All computers wait at the same speed.
  • Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
  • Go ahead, make my data!
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  • E-mail returned to sender: Insufficient voltage.
  • Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  • DOS Tip #1701: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
  • Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
  • Press any key… no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
  • Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue …