New TV Programs

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age:

  • Modem, She Wrote
    Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won’t ever connect at 56k.
  • Micro-CHiPs
    Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
  • Carly’s Angels
    Chief exec Carly Fiorina instructs her team of three vixen market analysts on how to prop up HP’s sagging stock price.
  • Hawaii 6.0
    An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
  • T. J. Hacker
    A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
  • The Excel Files
    Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
  • The AOL-Team
    Each week, AOL, Time Warner, Netscape, and Mr. TT unite to promote corporate mergers and make the world safe for capitalism.
  • Magnum, PC
    This series about a crime-solving personal computer that goes by the code name Deep Blue is based in beautiful Hawaii. Season finale cliff-hanger: Will Deep Blue be seduced by the wily charms of the Texas Instruments Speak ‘n’ Spell?
  • The Incredible Bulk
    The exciting adventures of Windows, which just keeps growing and growing.
  • Buffy the Virus Slayer
    Buffy and her fearless gang of antivirus definitions stalk and kill VBS files– no small feat while wearing a halter top and high-heeled boots.

New Fall TV Season

  • NBC
    8:00 Friends
    8:30 Girlfriends
    9:00 One Guy with Several Female Friends
    9:30 My Gay Friends
    10:00 Friends You Wish You Had But Don’t
  • FOX
    8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain
    8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape
    9:00 Jiggle It Beach
    9:30 LA Chicks
    10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode
  • UPN
    8:00 The Unwatchables
    8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings
    9:00 Theoretically Existing Show
    9:30 Praying For Syndication
    10:00 The Last Thing You’d Ever Want To Sit Through
  • WB
    8:00 7th level of Hell
    8:30 Gittin’ Yo Freak On
    9:00 Me & My Psychic
    9:30 Kids Suck The Darndest Things
    10:00 Dawson’s Clothes
    8:00 Blurry Steve
    8:30 Inaudible City Council Meeting
    9:00 Do We Have A Caller On The Line? Hello?
    9:30 The Best Of Lunch Menus
    10:00 My Friend Made This Short Film
    10:30 Men With Braids Speak Out
  • E!
    8:00 Andy Gibb: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
    8:30 John Belushi: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
    9:00 Margot Kidder: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
    9:30 River Phoenix: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
    10:00 Boy George: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
  • ESPN2
    8:00 Finland’s Most Brutal Men
    8:30 Being Hit By A Trolley Regional Semifinals
    9:00 60 Minutes Of Joe Theismann’s Leg Breaking
    10:00 Coed Spread-Eagled Weight-Training From Maui
    8:00 How Can I Choose Between My Daughters?
    9:00 The Abused Wife Who Didn’t Mean To Kill Her Policeman Husband in Self-Defense
    10:00 The Boy Whose Mommy Watched Far Too Much Television
  • TNN
    8:00 Well, I’ll Be Dipped in Pigturd!
    8:30 Roadkill Recipe to Warm the Cockles of Your Heart
    9:00 You Hush Up, Wanda Mae
    9:30 Sheeeeeeee-ewt!
    10:00 Hold ‘Er Down While I Get the Rifle From the Truck
    8:00 Roberto Amorosa en Agua Caliente!
    9:00 Whoomp! Donde Esta?
    9:30 Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!
    10:00 Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
    10:30 La Hora de Goya
    8:00 Bare Ambition (Tanya Roberts)
    8:30 Naked Exposition (Traci Lords)
    9:00 Body Of Nudity (Dana Plato)
    10:00 Unclothed Anguish (Joyce DeWitt)