A long time ago, Julius Caesar declared, “Veni, vidi, vici.” “I came, I saw, I conquered.” His words echoed throughout two millenia. Until one day…
- Monica Lewinsky gushed, “Orgasmus, slidici, incontinare.” “He came, I slipped, it dribbled.”
- Linda Tripp hissed, “Verboso, memorex, serpentus.” “She told, I taped, I blabbed.”
- Kenneth Starr cheered, “Gerministi! Homonisti! Felonisti!” “It matched! It’s HIS! I GOT him!”
- And Bill Clinton sobbed, “Perjuratum, erratis, manuro”. “I lied – I mean – I didn’t.”
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.
“Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!” she exclaimed.
“No,” said the genie, “You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish.”
“Let’s see,” says Monica, “I don’t need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don’t need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I’ll have all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that’s it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles removed.”
Poof! And just like that..her ears fell off.