- On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed - On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock - On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed - On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple - On feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior - On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
“Faith Healer” Causes Bankruptcy - On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer’s Investment Lost - On raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed
Tag Archives: headlines
Actual Newspaper Headlines
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- William Kelly was fed secretary
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Queen Mary having bottom scraped
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
- NJ judge to rule on nude beach
- Child’s stool great for use in garden
- Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
- Eye drops off shelf
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Dealers will hear car talk at noon
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
- Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
- Never withhold herpes from loved one
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
- Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better
- If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while
- War dims hope for peace
- Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
- Cold wave linked to temperatures
- Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
Some become unintentionally suggestive:
Grammar often botches other headlines:
Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:
Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious:
Year’s Best Headlines
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Brilliant Newspaper Headlines
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Farmer Bill Dies in House
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- Stud Tires Out
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops off Shelf
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
- Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Air Head Fired
- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
- Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
- Include your Children When Baking Cookies
- 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves
Headlines From The Year 2050
- Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
- Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobilof Monopoly Charges
- 50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss
- Baby Conceived Naturally
- It Wasn’t the Cigarettes — It Was the Ashtrays
- Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President
- Florida to Be Readmitted to Union
- Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock
- Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome young Actor. “This Is True Love,” He Beams.
- Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In DC
- Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens
- Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife
- Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants
- Younger Generation’s Music Provokes Outrage of Elders
- DC National Zoo to Receive Rare Cow
- Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby’s
- Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Striper’s Allegations