If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, these tidbits may bring tears of joy to your eyes!
- Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
- Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
- Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
- Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
- Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
- Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
- Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I Love You”?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
- Q. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
- Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
- Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries!
- Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
- Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
- Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
- Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
- Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
- Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
- Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
- Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
- Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
- Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
- Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
- Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh!!!