- First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It’s DAL-LUS.
- Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules… Hold on and pray.
- All directions start with, “Go down to Beltline”…which has no beginning and no end.
- The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a “scenic drive”.
- The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning.
- If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will get rear ended.
- Major roads mysteriously change names and direction at intersections.
- Intense construction on the highway system is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.
- All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, “Oh, we were in Fort Worth!!”
- If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
- All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way, especially in the vicinity of Neiman Marcus.
- If asking directions east of downtown, you must have a working knowledge of Spanish.
- Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.
- A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours. Pack a lunch.
- Don’t carry money, jewelry, family, etc., on Martin Luther King Freeway. And keep all doors locked at all times.
- The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff is not ornamental.
- Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, “Keep honking. I’m reloading.”
- If you are in the left lane, and only going 70… people are not waving when they go by.
- The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit.
- Any section of Dallas above IH-635 is considered too far and too close to Oklahoma to be driving.
- Plano and Flower Mound are not real cities, they were produced and brought to you by the nice people at Disney for the pure entertainment of housewives.
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