- You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
- You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
- You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”
- You believe chocolate is a food group.
- You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
- You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on the report card.
- You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
- When out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
- You have no time for a life between August to June.
- Marking all A’s on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.
- When you mention “vegetables” you’re not talking about a food group.
- You think people should be able to get a government permit before being
allowed to reproduce.
- You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
- You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the lounge.
- You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
- You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home
- You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary school setting for at least 5 years.
- You’ve had your profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.
- You can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you uttered it.
- You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.
- You know you’re in for a MAJOR project when a parent says, “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun!”
- You smile weakly, but want to choke a person when they say, “Oh, you must have such fun everyday. It must be like playtime for you.”
- Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.
- Meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this child like this?”
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