Things You Never Hear in Church

  • Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
  • I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
  • Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
  • I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
  • I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
  • Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
  • I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
  • Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
  • Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
  • Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!