More Church Bulletin Typos

These sentences actually appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service:

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.”
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  • The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus”
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
  • Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sabbath.
  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  • A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High.”
  • Evening Massage – 6 p.m.
  • Ushers will eat latecomers.
  • The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which, as usual, fell upon her.
  • On a church bulletin during the pastor’s illness: GOD IS GOOD. Pastor Hargreaves is better.
  • Don’t miss this Saturday’s exhibit by Christian Martian Arts…
  • Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth.
  • Lift up our Messianic brothers and sisters in Israel who are suffering during our prayer time.
  • This Sunday morning following services we will have our monthly feelowship.
  • We have received word of sudden passing of Rev. Smith this morning duringthe worship service. Now let’s sing “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.”
  • The agenda was adopted…the minutes were approved… the final secretary gave a grief report.
  • Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.