Yu*go (yoo-go)
n. 1) Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
2) 4×4 hood ornament.
adj. 1) What doesn’t happen when you press the accelerator.
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.)
A. If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.
A. This joke has been censored because it offends Yugoslavians, other people affected by the strife in Eastern Europe, and goes against the Communist belief system that material goods are provided by the state for its populace and therefore should have no stated monetary or status value whatsoever. Members of the bicycle-now group will also be upset because this joke encourages automobile use.
What do Yugos have in common with Ferraris?
– A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
– A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferarri, if you give it a fast enough running start, so it clears the cliff’s edge…
Q. How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A. 1) Lift off the radiator cap.
2) Push off cliff.
3) and drive brand new one underneath radiator cap. (30-mile/3-day warranty included!)
A man entered an auto parts store…
Man: “I need a windshield wiper blade for a Yugo.”
Clerk: “Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade.”
I once bought a Yugo with a tow package. …with the tow in the front.
Q. Why does a Yugo have a rear window defroster?
A. To keep your hands warm as you push it.
“The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night… The men are being held as suspects in the city’s first push-by shooting.”
Q. What comes with every Yugo User’s Manual?
A. The bus schedule.
From the Yugo owner’s manual: “If you sense an impending accident with
any other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly:
- place head between legs,
- lock hands behind head,
- Repeat: “Our Father, who art in heaven…”
Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start blowing *real fast.*
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about $2800 damage to a Yugo. What’s left? About $1200 of “dealer prep.”
Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?
A. A miracle!
Q. What’s the most wasteful way to spend money?
A. Buy a car alarm for a Yugo.