Cheer Up!

  • The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.
  • They say the house didn’t float very far at all.
  • We’re all amazed that you go on living each day.
  • Well, at least the operation was a partial success.
  • The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.
  • The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.
  • With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.
  • The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.
  • At least the passenger side air bag inflated.
  • Jerry Springer wants you for this “secret admirer show.”
  • The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
  • At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.
  • The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
  • The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.
  • Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don’t worry about it.
  • Lots of guys face multiple paternity suits.
  • The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.
  • MicroSoft Tech Support said those errors just aren’t possible.