The good news: Her French maid outfit.
The bad news: Her beard and mustache.
Housekeepers.com instructs you to attach vacuum cleaner and mop to your computer’s USB port.
Keeps looking nervously at the TV and asking if you’re planning to watch America’s Most Wanted.
Shows up wearing nothing but a strategically-placed feather duster.
First question: “Do you fold your towels before you put them away?”
“Well, Mr. Kaelin, your credentials check out perfectly. You’re hired.”
She’s great with the food budget — but the hamsters are missing and last night’s burgers tasted a bit funky.
You find a 4-lb. pork roast under the blanket in the nursery, and the baby wrapped in tinfoil in the freezer.
By the time you figured out that your brand-new deluxe model of the Housekeeping-Butler-Maid-o-matic was a bad idea, your wife has left you for the Business-Sportsman-Pornstar 3000.
“I’m sorry, but due to a recent federal ruling, I don’t do Windows.”
When confronted about nothing being cleaned, insists that “Scrubbing Bubbles does the work so I don’t have too.”
She doesn’t do windows, but she *does* do your 14-year-old son.
When she is done with your 14-year-old-son, she does your 13 year-old daughter.
Well, they don’t call him “Mr. French” because of his accent.
Scoot marks on the rug, and you don’t even have a dog.
Does windows? Check. Great with the kids? Check. Greets your visitors with, “I KISS YOU!!!!”? Uh-oh.