The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:
- free yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
- free puppies:
1/2 cocker spaniel
1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog
- free puppies…part german shepherd part stupid dog
- German shepherd 85 lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
- found: dirty white dog.
Looks like a rat…
Been out awhile..
Better be reward.
- 1 man, 7 woman hot tub — $850/offer
- Amana washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
- snow blower for sale…
Only used on snowy days.
- 2 wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
- tickle me elmo, still in box,
comes with its own 1988 mustang,
5l, auto, excellent condition $6800
- cows, calves never bred…
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
- 83 toyota hunchback — $2000
- star wars job of the hut — $15
- soft & genital bath tissues or
facial tissue 89 cents
- full sized mattress.
20 yr. Warranty.
Like new. Slight urine smell.
- free 1 can of pork & beans with
purchase of 3 br 2 bath home.
- for sale:
lee majors (6 million dollar man) – $50
- nordic track $300
hardly used, call chubby
- bill’s septic cleaning
“we haul American made products”
- shakespeare’s pizza – free chopsticks
- hummels – largest selection ever
“if it’s in stock, we have it!”
- get a little john:
the traveling urinal
holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
- harrisburg postal employees
- georgia peaches
89 cents lb.
- nice parachute:
never opened – used once
- free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
- american flag
60 stars – pole included
- tired of working for only $9.75
per hour? We offer profit
sharing and flexible hours.
Starting pay: $7 – $9 per hour.
- exercise equipment:
queen size mattress and box springs
- our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% italian leather.
- joining nudist colony!
Must sell washer and dryer
- lawyer says client is not that guilty.
- alzheimer’s center prepares for an affair to remember
- gas cloud clears out taco bell.
- open housebody shapers toning salon
free coffee and donuts
- fully cooked boneless