New York City Traveler’s Tips

  • The city does not employ so-called “wallet inspectors.”
  • Remember: regular hot dogs do not have fingernails.
  • Yelling at cabdrivers in English wastes your time and theirs.
  • John Gotti always has the right of way.
  • Avoid paperwork for your next of kin by keeping dental records on you.
  • Don’t lick food from a stranger’s beard.
  • It’s bad manners to lie down inside someone else’s chalk body outline.
  • Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
  • If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
  • If it doesn’t smell like chili, it probably isn’t.