Signs Bill Gates is Having a Mid-life Crisis

  • Gives his age as “39, version 5.”
  • Hires someone to purchase a sports car and pursue young bimbos.
  • Spends $6 on a new hairstyle.
  • “No, honey. I didn’t say I bought *a* Porsche…”
  • Replaced the animated paper clip Office Assistant with a Hooters waitress.
  • Grows beard and tints it gray to simulate the “look and feel” of Steven Jobs.
  • Keeps buying younger and younger companies.
  • Supermodel eggs? Pffft. Bill’s got him a six-pack of supermodels.
  • “The first rule of Microsoft Club is: Everyone Kisses My Ass In Microsoft Club!”
  • Same as everybody else: Decides to run for President.
  • Ignores his wife to spend time writing inappropriate code for a 16-year-old Apple Lisa.
  • Changed the name of his company to EnormousHard.
  • Joined the Personality Club for Men.