Entries from Bill Gates’ Diary

  • Invited entire tech support department to play golf. Brought Melissa to complete the foursome.
  • Steve Jobs started work today. The silverware looks great, but he doesn’t do windows — yet.
  • The baby cries constantly. Maybe I’ll buy Fisher-Price.
  • Bought my first Macintosh. It’s sooooo cute!
  • Good day. Found over 15 bucks’ worth of soda cans in the trash bins outside Microsoft headquarters.
  • Bad day. Ellison sent back the heads of two of the three hitmen I hired, along with a note saying he ate the third one whole.
  • Still ahead of Murdoch and Eisner. Yes!
  • Reminder: 35-cent Snapple coupon expires in two days!
  • Memo to self: Next time, when my wife says we need to buy china, she means dishes.
  • Ran into Demi and Bruce. Upped my offer to a billion dollars.
  • Seventh day: Rested.