Gator Diet

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, “I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” says the big alligator, “What have you been eating?”

“Lawyers, same as you,” replies the small alligator.

“Hm. Well, where do you catch’em?”

“Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.”

“Same here. Hm. How do you catch’em?”

“Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite’em, shake the crap out of ’em, and eat ’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin’ the crap out of a lawyer, there’s nothin’ left but lips and a briefcase.”