My Name is Crusty Girdletush

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose…

The following is an excerpt from a children’s book, “Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants”, by Dav Pilkey:

The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

  • a = stinky
  • b = lumpy
  • c = buttercup
  • d = gidget
  • e = crusty
  • f = greasy
  • g = fluffy
  • h = cheeseball
  • i = chim-chim
  • j = poopsie
  • k = flunky
  • l = booger
  • m = pinky
  • n = zippy
  • o = goober
  • p = doofus
  • q = slimy
  • r = loopy
  • s = snotty
  • t = falafel
  • u = dorkey
  • v = squeezit
  • w = oprah
  • x = skipper
  • y = dinky
  • z = zsa-zsa

Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:

  • a = diaper
  • b = toilet
  • c = giggle
  • d = bubble
  • e = girdle
  • f = barf
  • g = lizard
  • h = waffle
  • i = cootie
  • j = monkey
  • k = potty
  • l = liver
  • m = banana
  • n = rhino
  • o = burger
  • p = hamster
  • q = toad
  • r = gizzard
  • s = pizza
  • t = gerbil
  • u = chicken
  • v = pickle
  • w = chuckle
  • x = tofu
  • y = gorilla
  • z = stinker

Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:

  • a = head
  • b = mouth
  • c = face
  • d = nose
  • e = tush
  • f = breath
  • g = pants
  • h = shorts
  • i = lips
  • j = honker
  • k = butt
  • l = brain
  • m = tushie
  • n = chunks
  • o = hiney
  • p = biscuits
  • q = toes
  • r = buns
  • s = fanny
  • t = sniffer
  • u = sprinkles
  • v = kisser
  • w = squirt
  • x = humperdinck
  • y = brains
  • z = juice

Thus, for example, George Bush’s new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts and Barack Obama is Lumpy Burgerdiaper. Go figure. 🙂

Now when you forward this, use your new name as the title of the subject line.

A huge thanks to Dav Pilkey for the Captain Underpants series and this Captain Underpants Name Game.
Copyright © 1997-2002 by Dav Pilkey

Dedicated to Erin.. Chica, I will always remember the good times!