Ways to Drive the Man in Your Life Crazy


  • Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
  • Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
  • Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.
  • Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he’s gained a few pounds.
  • Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother’s side.
  • “Accidentally” fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.
  • Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.
  • Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
  • Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who “needs it more than he does.”
  • Insist upon a lot of “meaningful conversations.”
  • If you live together, have your mother fly in for a month-long visit unannounced.
  • Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
  • Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his “sinking” on film.
  • Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.
  • Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks you don’t know about to his younger brother, who he hates.
  • Put a gummy worm in his workboots. If he finds the sticky mess at the end of the day, blame it on the cat.
  • Slip outside while he is engrossed in his sports and let the air out of one tire. Repeat, never deflating the same tire twice in a row. Try hard not to snicker when he takes the car in for new tires.
  • If you really feel adventurous, put a small rock in his hubcap. Stand back and watch the fun. This one is even better if you have kids in the neighborhood to take the blame.
  • Along the same lines, remove his gas cap.