From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs, now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!

Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the Invisible Fence Bra creates a safety zone around Daddy’s Little Angel.

If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the Church social and head right to the Devil’s Playground, your daughter will be safe and secure with this bra. Attempting to remove it without keying in the secret combination results in a “slight correction” to the horny young bastard.

Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses including: “Don’t Go There, Boyfriend”, “Freddy’ll Lose His Fingers”, “Rushin’ Hands, Electrocuted Fingers”, “Char Your Fingers To The Bone”, and, the ultimate level, “Any Last Words Before We Throw The Switch?”

Ladies, do *you* have a boss that likes to reach over your shoulder for a pencil on your desk? The Invisible Fence Bra has an accessory which clips underneath your chair. When the boss’s hand dips into the the “No Fly Zone”, the magnetic field of the bra triggers the mechanical arm of the accessory we like to call: “Balls Through The Wall.” Your boss can then apply for a role on “The Sopranos.”

Don’t delay! Operators are standing by now.