Office Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings
As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the firm’s guidelines based upon the hurricane’s intensity:
- Hurricane Category #1
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.
- Hurricane Category #2
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.
- Hurricane Category #3
Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.
- Hurricane Category #4
More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.
- Hurricane Category #5
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.
Have A Nice Day!
Never let it be said that I am solely interested in entertaining you. Sometimes I come across an article of such helpful significance I feel compelled to share it with you. The following is such an article:
Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:
- Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, “I told you so.”
- To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.
- Experiencing an earthquake is terrifying, but a majority of people caught in one do survive. During the tremors, try to resist the temptation to have sex with pets or houseplants.
- Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.
- Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.
- Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear? Well, let’s see Mr. Bear help you now.
- For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.
- A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.
- Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.
- In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table or your uncle.
- If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how grossly you’ve wasted your life.
Read the TEXT FIRST, then open the photo.
They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance and wished that he would take her in his arm, comfort her, protect her from the storm, she wanted that…then the power went out. She screamed.
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He did not hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn’t resist but instead clung to him. The storm raged on… as did their growing passion and there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.
They knew it was wrong, their families would not understand, but so consumed in their passion they didn’t hear the door or the click of the light switch… the power was back on…
(NOW Click here to open the file)
In October, the Indians asked their Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter will be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to a phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is this winter to be cold?”
The man on the phone responded, “This winter is indeed going to be very cold.”
So the Chief went back to encourage his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, and asked again, “Is it going to be a very cold winter?”
“Yes,” the man replied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.”
The Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go out and bring back every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that this winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely” the man replies, “the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”
There were three Eskimos in Alaska sitting in a local bar. They got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest igloo.
They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said “Watch this!” and poured a cup of water into the air. Naturally, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid.
“Not bad”, said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still.
They went to the second Eskimo’s igloo, and he said “Watch this!” and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor.
“Wow, that’s colder than mine!” said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still.
So they ended up at the third Eskimo’s igloo. He said “Watch this!” and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went “FFFAAAARRRRTTT”.